It might help you, old school as it probably sounds, to sit open legged in front of a mirror now and then, perhaps when you’re masturbating even. Get a look at yourself, see what your partner is seeing, and try and accept that there’s nothing icky or to be ashamed of when it comes to your body or your genitals. You sound like someone who could use a copy of Betty Dodson’s classic, “Sex for One.” It’s a fantastic women’s guide in terms of masturbation, and she also deals with distorted body image and genital shame issues, as well.
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