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If your partner guilt trips you or belittles you for expressing your feelings and needs around sex, that is a red flag (especially if they have done this on previous occasions when you’ve discussed sex, or if they do it when you discuss other issues). Having a mismatch in libidos is one thing, but making your partner feel as if they have to apologize for the degree of their sexual urges is not okay. Partners can have different sexual wants dildos, or different wants around sexual frequency, but since no one has to engage in any sex they don’t want to, everyone should feel like it’s okay to be different in those respects.You may find that what will work best for you both is a reordering of some of the defaults and rules you’ve built around sex.

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